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Finding Peace

November 8, 2011

I’ve been home for 72 hours. Of those 72 hours I have probably slept 30-35. I haven’t worked out once…well, I shoveled for over three hours today and I attempted to go out for a run yesterday and didn’t make it very far before turning around. I haven’t journaled or blogged…at all. I haven’t ventured around town much except for a few quick stops to pick up a few supplies and to peruse the bookshelves at my local Barnes and Noble. I haven’t done much, but you may say, “well, give yourself a break since you just got back from Ethiopia.” In a way you would be right (and wrong). I don’t need a break in regards to “taking a breather”. No, my dear friends, I really do need to get off my butt and go for a run or a walk with the dog or maybe go and buy a pair of cross country skis to make me feel like I am going to do something physical. However, the break that I believe I do need is from my mind.
I have a million things that are going through my head that I need to do and yet I can’t focus on one thing and finish it. 5 weeks in Ethiopia and I have already lost my desire and respect for introspective, quiet thought. I am distracted by my own thoughts at home so I decide to run errands hoping to “distract” me and to allow me to “feel” like I am mingling with civilization, but that only makes my head spin that much more. At Barnes and Noble I perused the the selection of books on sewing and I was overwhelmed. What started out as an innocent search for a book on crocheting turned into a feast for my hands where I reached for each colorful and whitty title that I could get my hands on. My head hurt after 10 minutes so I went to look and see if I could find an easier way to narrow down my choices with the “periodicals”. What was I thinking? There are more than 30 magazines on just knitting not counting the ones about sewing, “Vogue” crocheting, or other crafts. Oy! I walked away from the book store empty-handed and a with a mild headache.
We really do have too many options and too much “stuff” that can occupy our times and minds. Unfortunately, I have chosen to not be deliberate in having my quiet time with God. This evening I gave my worries and frustrations to the One who knows exactly how I feel. For He always reminds me that this life isn’t about how “productive” one can be or what you do with your life, but rather it’s about who He wants us to be. I easily slipped into the pit of distractions upon my return from Ethiopia and His reminder to me this evening was that He is my only refuge and until I run to Him I will never find rest.
It took me three days to realize that I had been avoiding God the whole time, but I had lied to myself and said that I had been avoiding people, the blog, working out, and much more. I need my Maker to be my refuge, especially during a time of restlessness.
Have you been wrestling with your thoughts? Wrestling with distractions?
Make your life simple and go to God. No, seriously, close this window on your computer, walk away from your desk, and talk to the Peacemaker.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Mary Erickson permalink
    November 8, 2011 6:39 am

    Shalom sweetheart!

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